A thief burgled my car and somehow that healed my depression.

Can I just be very honest with you?

Life has felt empty for me over the past few months.

I've been debating starting to show up again.

Debating if I really want to share this.

Debating if I want to invite you into my inner struggles.

Honestly, hitting send feels scary.

It's too much. Too vulnerable. Too personal.

Yet, it feels exactly like what IPG Mentorship Canada represents.

Vulnerability.

Authenticity.

Honesty.

Coming as you are, not who you've "fixed up" to be.

Feeling paralyzing fear, self consciousness & insecurity and still making the bold step to step forward and ask for help anyways.

So I guess it's my turn...

On paper, I'm living my dream:

• I passed my PEBC exams.

• I’m a licensed Canadian Pharmacist.

• I launched a business I’m deeply passionate about.

• I’m collaborating with organizations that align with my vision to support IPGs.

• I’m networking with people who pursue passion just like I do.

• I’m taking my dream trips.

• I’m building the life I desired in Canada.

...and still...

I’ve been existing in a space I can only describe as empty.

I feel drained.

I feel trapped in a dark abyss.

I gave it a week.

Then two weeks.

Then a month.

Then two months.

Suddenly, it’s an unknown number of months that I’ve been carrying this darkness with me.

High-Functioning Depression is what I call it.

The depression where you look perfectly fine.

You complete your tasks.

You show up.

You continue to be the person everyone leans on.

But on the inside, you are screaming for someone to notice that you are anything but okay.

Begging to be seen.

Begging for help.

As a Pharmacist, a Mentor, a Daughter, a Sister, an Aunt, a Leader... I do a lot of pouring into others.

I’m constantly pouring.

Pouring.

Pouring.

Pouring.

Until I ran completely dry.

So I started damage control & pursued ways to fill my cup & pour into me.

I shared how I was feeling with family & friends.

I prioritized rest.

I prayed.

I watched sermons.

I did devotionals.

I read my Bible.

I downsized my tasks.

They gave me sparks... momentary flickers of light.

But as quickly as the light came, it faded away once more.

...and then it happened.

The straw that breaks the camel's back. The moment where you think,

"Yup, I’m actually gonna drive off a bridge. ENOUGH!!"

I was heading out for work. I got to my car and noticed my front passenger door was slightly ajar.

I looked around. No broken glass. Windows intact.

But my door is open.

I opened the door further and saw my belongings tossed everywhere. Someone had searched through my car. It was broken into and burgled.

When your mental health is hanging by a thread, a moment like that is usually the pair of scissors that cuts it completely.

But right in that moment, something unexpected rose up inside me:

"Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world."

When life gets hard, NEVER give credit to our accuser. Double down & worship God!

• I came to Canada in my right mind, and I plan to STAY in my right mind.

• I came to this country healthy, and I plan to STAY healthy.

• I came to Canada full of JOY, and I plan to STAY joyful.

I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting to feel "better" so I can start re-engaging with this community.

So I can re-ignite my creativity.

So I can re-experience my spark.

I’m so accustomed to pouring out, I didn't even stop to ask:

"Could you please help me?"

I built IPG Mentorship Canada to be a safe space where we navigate this journey together by leaning on each other.

I tell my mentees all the time:

"No one can fix what you don't share. Don't wait until you feel better, share it so we can solve it together."

I need to take my own advice.

Seeing my car burgled forced me to realize that my mental health is too fragile to keep waiting to feel better before I ask for help.

Life is honestly not interested in going easy on me just because I'm struggling & having a hard time.

My situation isn't going to change,

I am what needs to change.

I am capable of navigating these storms, but I cannot do it alone.

So if you have a word of encouragement for me today, I would deeply appreciate it.

Send me an email: [email protected]

I created this space for real, unfiltered conversations about the IPG experience.

The truth is, a lot of what we navigate feels dark, heavy, and isolating. But if we stick together, we can overcome, rebuild, and shine the way we were always meant to.

Maybe the thing we need to set us free is the courage to be honest about where we are right now. No more waiting.

Show up in broken pieces so that a community can rally around you and help put your broken pieces back together.

My most recent devotional, "Trusting God with Your Next Steps" (on the YouVersion Bible app) is reminding me about a principle I believe in so strongly.

Clarity comes from Movement.

The goal isn't to get clarity, then move- rather, move so you can get clarity !

Movement is how we build Faith, Trust & Momentum. The bonus? Because we're unsure & insecure, we cling to God. Ironically, that's the exact posture God is looking for from us.

Closeness.

Relationship.

Intimacy.

My Mentees & I have been having so many vulnerable conversations this semester. Because of that, I feel very close to each of them. It's sacred when someone entrusts you with their inner most fears and desires. That's exactly how strong relationships and connections are built. Vulnerability.

These experiences have reinforced my WHY.

WHY I created this space.

WHY I'm doing this.

WHY this work is so important to me.

I don't want to give up,

I still love what I'm doing.

I still love the life I'm building in Canada.

Some chapters are simply challenging and all we need is a friend to help us walk through it so it doesn't feel so lonely.

...and that’s how a car looter became the flashlight I needed to escape the darkness I've been stuck in for far too long.

As a self-soother, this article is low key giving me angina. But obedience over comfort every single time!

If this post resonated with you, please let me know. I want us to have a community together. Send me an email: [email protected]

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"Be brave enough to ask for help!"