I Lost My Spark

I lost my spark

June 11, 20265 min read

Penny for your thoughts?

I wholeheartedly believe the reason IPGs are failing is related less to their lack of knowledge and more about their depleted mental and emotional wellness.

Hello my Sky Loungers!

Let's do a spot check.

How's your Mental Health?

As healthcare professionals, our entire job is to care for others. But are we taking the time to care for our own mental and emotional wellness? Are we taking care of ourselves?

For me, I am a strong advocate for my mental health. Actually, this was another one of my Canadian WHYs. Canada is known for its support for mental health, and I was incredibly excited to have wider access to therapists here.

I am a Black woman from the Caribbean, and the unfortunate reality is that within Black cultures, mental health is often negatively stigmatized and we have less access to resources. This is even worse if you are a high achiever or a Black male. Low emotions somehow get translated to being "soft." Not being tough enough.

The strategy I was taught back home is:

  1. Focus on the good things that are happening.

  2. Pray. God will see you through.

  3. Don't be ungrateful. It could be worse.

  4. Do you know how many people would want these problems?

So, when things happen that negatively impact our mental well-being, our go-to response becomes criticizing ourselves for feeling that way to begin with. We tell ourselves, “I just need to shake this off.”

I crumbled under the pressure

Within a week of moving to Canada, I started preparing for my MCQ and OSCE exams. I planned on living in Ontario. The rule for Ontario is brutal: you have to PASS the MCQ and OSCE exams on your first attempt, otherwise, your re-licensing journey becomes infinitely more complicated.

I had exactly three months to prepare for both exams. I moved with one suitcase of necessities and another full of my study notes. I was in a completely new environment. I did not renew my Jamaican license (I literally burned the backup plan). Bonus: I got scammed within a month of moving to Canada.

Safe to say, the stakes were HIGH. This was do OR die.

The April prior to my May exam, I began to crumble.

It starts as anxiety. The tension in your muscles. The sharp pain in the back of your neck. The headaches. The trouble sleeping.

Then comes the lying. Someone asks, "How are you?" and you mask it and say, "I'm okay."

Then, the withdrawal. If you're around others, they'll likely notice something is wrong, so you combat that by isolating. If you don't see me, you can't figure out what's wrong.

Then, if you're a crybaby like me, next comes the tears. It started as a spontaneous drizzle here and there, and I'd brush it off. Then it became a full, one-hour episode every single morning for two months straight.

That hole you sink into feels like a vicious ocean undercurrent. No matter how hard you try to swim against it, you just get pulled under, deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

I crumbled under the pressure.

Be Brave!

I broke the cycle

I had an important choice to make: keep pushing through the darkness OR get the help I needed.

I chose to break the cycle. I enrolled in therapy.

Studying was important, but therapy secured my PASS more than studying ever could. As a Mentor, I have seen it more times than I can count: IPGs who have all the clinical knowledge fail simply because mentally, they were not prepared for the exam room.

Along our journey, standard study preparation looks like 12-hour days, poor nutrition, sleepless nights, and forcing ourselves to push through. Our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness are brushed aside.

Technically, none of these are a part of the PEBC syllabus. However, they are the exact pillars upon which your success is built.

My bi-weekly check-ins with my Mentees aren't just a basic check-in on how their studying is going; it’s a built-in safety feature so they cannot withdraw. We come on camera and talk for 30 minutes about whatever they need at that moment. I not only listen to their words, I observe them.

Often, we start the call with them amped up on anxiety and stress because all they're thinking is: "I'm not doing enough," "I don't have enough time," "I'm not scoring high enough on my mock tests."

My role as their Mentor is to gently guide them to see what they are doing well, and empower them to improve in the areas where they aren’t satisfied with their performance.

Solutions don't always have to be complex. Sometimes, it's as simple as giving to others the very thing you wished you had when you were drowning.

The value of community

Mentorship isn't another cost. Mentorship is self-investment. Moving to Canada was a massive investment into yourself. Why wouldn't you protect your investment?

When IPGs try to figure this out solo at the cost of failing to learn, that's like investing in a bad stock and crashing out when the market goes down. Many people only reach out to me when they're on their second, third, or worse, their fourth and final attempt. Every single failure deepens your desperation. Your confidence wavers, and you start creating frantic backup plans.

My wish is that more IPGs would start this journey by accessing help early. Pay in money and stop paying with your precious time. Immigration and licensing rules change frequently and rapidly in Canada. Mentorship could be the exact difference maker before you miss an opportunity that could have made your journey easier.

There are aspects of my re-licensing journey that were unique to the timing of my arrival. The rules changed, and those specific options no longer exist.

That is what we call opportunity cost.

You literally do not have time to be failing.

As your Canadian Pharmacist re-licensing concierge, you are in the best hands with IPG Mentorship Canada I'm not just showing you the Path to PASS (and you will PASS), I'm re-calibrating your mindset to thrive in Canada. Let's do this together!

I can't wait to talk with you again.

If this post resonated with you, please let me know. I want us to have a community together. Send me an email: [email protected]

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